


The Chronology - Continuing the Odyssey

by WizOz



Category: Mythology Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25512916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WizOz/pseuds/WizOz
Summary: CHAPTER 1The Teleportation PodsorHow many questions can a person ask?





	1. Chapter 1

The sun began peeking over the nonexistent mountains on the western horizon (Apollo, the sun god, must have gotten drunk off of that new mixture called wine).

"D'ya ever notice the way the sun streaks across the sky everyday?" asked Trav.

"Are'ya sayin' the sun is naked?" said Dan.

"Well I don't see it wearin' any pants, nor a shirt for that matter," said Baby-Face-Half-Nelson (the other half must have gotten lost somewhere).

They all agreed on this matter, but before they could discuss it further, they all fell asleep. They then slept-walked over the side of the ship.

The alarm in Percival's cabin began another pointless day in it's life. _"What is the point in this?"_ it thought, _"I never do anything but sit around here all day and make meaningless noises."_ By coincidence, the bed thought, _"I'm glad I can serve this person, but I only wish I could do more to help."_ It then let out an eased sigh of contentment.

Anyway, at precisely 5:00 A.M., the alarm went off. _"Great!"_ it thought, _"Another day, another migraine."_ Annoyed at the persistence of the clock, Percival pulled a large wooden mallet out from underneath his pillow and smashed the clock. He then went back to sleep.

No sooner than he had done this, Phil burst into the cabin. "C'mon Percy," said Phil, "We don't want to be late for the millennial fair on Kaki island!"

The millennial fair was a large happenstance that occurred every year. It celebrated the victory over the dark forces some 600 years ago.

"Go back to bed Phil!" said Percival, "It probably hasn't even started yet!"

"It has to be open!" screamed Phil, "The posters said that it would open at the crack of dawn. C'mon, we've got to see Robins's new teleportation unit!"

"You don't quit, do you chap?"

"Nope."

"Alright, I'll be out in a few minutes."

Precisely a few minutes later, Percival walked out onto the mainland where he met Phil and Obi Ben.

"You too chap?" said Percival.

"Guess so," said Obi Ben.

"C'mon, let's go!" said Phil, "We don't want to be late."

It was obvious he had something planned.

Three hours later, the fair opened. The first thing that Phil did was to go and buy some cotton candy. Percival and Obi Ben walked around separating themselves from Phil. They were too embarrassed to be seen around him as sticky-faced as he was. However, Phil was still trailing behind the two so it appeared that they were a group (no matter how much Percival and Obi Ben denied it).

It was while Phil was trailing around Percival and Obi Ben when he accidentally stumbled. He began to curse his chronic bad luck streak when Mell, who was running about, tripped over Phil.

"Ouch," said Mell, "Hey! My pendant is gone!"

She immediately dropped back down and searched for her pendant among the large crowds. Phil saw the light shine on something; he went over to investigate. When he got there, he found it was an intricately carved pendant of fantastic workmanship. He looked over at Mell, desperately searching for her pendant. Then he ran over to a man and tried to sell the pendant.

"Look, I'll give it to you for ten gold coins," bargained Phil.

"I could not take that," said the man, "It belongs to that young girl over there."

After trying several other attempts at selling the pendant; and getting the same response, he took the pendant over to Mell. "My pendant!" she shouted enthusiastically as Phil handed it to her, "You found it!" Phil's face turned a deep crimson; which, ironically, made him look like a large, ripe tomato.

It has been clinically proven that people's heads don't just up and turn into a vegetable. So Phil's head was NOT a vegetable, it just resembled one in appearance. Coincidentally, his head looked so much like a ripe tomato, that you felt as if you would like to reach out and squish it--letting the juices flow out. Then throw it at a passing yak. Thanks for your time.

"Hey, Phil!" said Obi Ben as he strolled up with Percival, "Let's go check out that thing that Robins made!"

"It's not a thing," said Phil, "It's a super-hyper drive dyslexic perverted lightweight thermo-nuclear ballistic environmentally friendly teleportation unit."

"Whatever, chap," said Percival, "Are you coming or not?"

"Okay," said Phil, "How about you Mell? Mell? Hey, where'd she go?"

The trio glanced around at the crowds for Mell who had suddenly disappeared. They split up so that they could search further. Phil took the eastern part of the fair, Percival the western, and Obi Ben took the picnicking area.

Phil searched for Mell throughout the eastern part of the fair for over half an hour. Not finding a trace of her, he decided to take a look around. A bright purple, green, and red striped tent caught his attention. "Wow! What great taste! I love those colors!"

He walked over to the tent manager and gave him the tickets that were needed. He was then about to embark inside when an idea caught his mind. He stood their for half an hour longer, for the idea would not seem to let go. By the time the idea had gotten through to Phil's brain, a long line had formed. "Hey buddy!" shouted Phil at the ticket taker, "I just had an idea!"

"Good for you," said the ticket taker, heavy with sarcasm, "Now see if you can have another one!"

"Okay," said Phil.

He sat there and waited for another idea to form while the crowd yelled at him.

"Would you please be quiet!" said Phil, "I'm trying to have an idea."

"In the front of a line at a fair?" shouted a face in the crowd (nobody had any idea where the body had gone to).

"When you have inspiration you just can't let it go, can you?" said Phil. He then continued to think as the crowd quieted, for they all knew how it was when inspiration grabbed you by the ear and yanked, hard.

Obi Ben sat at the picnic tables. Obviously, he had heard the saying, "If you want to be found, just sit around and wait."

Percival made his way through the crowds. He was about to give up when he heard a voice talking underneath a table. He went over and lifted up the table-spread. Then he turned bright red and dropped the cloth. He then went to Robins's display where he was to meet Phil and Obi Ben. On the way, he just happened to find Obi Ben. Together they sat on the bench, waiting for someone to find them.

Phil had been kicked out of the line for having his idea. It had been an un-politically correct idea and was pretty stupid. He walked through the crowds to get to Robins's teleportation pods. Along the way, he met Obi Ben and Percival. For the sake of saving the plot of this story, they stood and walked in the direction of Robins's teleportation pods.

Several hours later, Percival was looking for Obi Ben and Phil. He had gotten lost somewhere along the few feet of distance from the picnic tables to Robins's demonstration. He continued to look for anyone that he new when he found himself at the front gates to the fair. Somehow, a freak wormhole had just happened to open up directly in front of him. Although he did not know enough about wormholes to do anything about it, he comforted himself with knowing that there truly were others who knew more than he did.

Obi Ben and Phil did not notice that Percival was missing at first; when they did find out, they couldn't have cared less. They were now at Robins's demonstration, listening to Robins explaining her new device.

"And then my super intelligent brain said, 'Gee, what would happen if I made a teleporting device' and I said, 'Gee brain, that's a good idea' and. . ."

Suddenly, a strange looking person ran over to where Robins was standing, yelled "INTERMISSION" and began humming the theme to "The Andy Griffeth Show" and doing a funny little thing with his thumbs while patting his head. The curious spectacle then ran back through the crowds. A freak wormhole then opened up and swallowed him. Nobody has heard of him since.

Phil turned just in time to see Robins pocket a small box with the words " _Freak Wormholes are easy to make with just the press of a button._ " She then droned on about her new invention. Phil was beginning to get bored and began to look around at the other faces in the crowd. Then he looked at the bodies in the crowd. Then he looked at the rest of the people there. A little later, he spotted Mell standing a short way from him. He tugged on Obi Ben's sleeve. "Hey, Obi, look there's Mell. We were on a wild goose chase."

"Phil, go do something else I was having a great dream about a school."

"What's so great about school?"

"But in this dream, we got out of class to go see an Apache helicopter land for a class entitled ROTC."

"Really!?!?!"

"Ya, Percival and Dr. Pepper and Robins were all there too. But you weren't there because your teacher wouldn't let you out of class."

"Oh."

Obi Ben went back to sleep, leaving Phil to his own thoughts. So he went over to bug someone else.

"Whatcha doin?" asked Phil.

"Just writing," said Mell as politely as she could under the conditions, "Now go away."

"Watcha writin' fer?" asked Phil.

"Go away!" said Mell.

Phil glanced down at the paper that she was writing on. It said " _Hello again! It's your favorite article...._ _Minute Review_ _. Today my topic is . . ._ " Phil turned a few different shades of green, then walked away.

He then began to listen to Robins's lecture again.

"And that is when I raised my hand to see if the teacher could help me assemble my pen which I had taken apart. Unfortunately, it had leaked all over the place," she stopped here and laughed, but when nobody else did, she returned to her lecture, "But that was in third grade. On to the fourth grade of school. This is my most memorable time about asking the teacher questions. . . ."

Suddenly, a man ran up to Robins and placed a gun in her face. "I don't take kindly to any birds movin' in on any o' my land. Especially no robins. Hey, wait a minute, hold that pose if'n ya know what's good for ya. It's one o' them magpie varmints."

With that he stalked off in the direction of the bird.

"Okay, onward," said Robins, "Where was I. . ."

Someone in the crowd yelled out. "Tenth grade!"

"Oh, yes, I remember many times in Mrs. Forsnes's class when. . ."

At the other end of the fair grounds, Percival was senselessly walking around. Not that he had ever said or done something sensible. In fact, you could say Percival was just plain senseless; he did not do anything that required a common sense--mainly because he didn't have any. Anyway, Percival was walking around at the fair. Because he had nothing to do, he decided on playing a few games; showing a great lack in common sense. Percival walked up to a booth with this sign printed on it: "Try your luck with a wooden mallet; just two dollars."

"I say chap," said Percival, "What kind of a game is this?"

"Well, you are supposed to hit the clocks with a wooden mallet," said the booth owner, "If you hit them all, you get a prize."

"Sorry chap, I would do it, but I don't have two dollars," said Percival as he walked away.

"No wait! Wait!" yelled the man at Percival, "I'll let you do it for a dollar."

"Well. . ."

"Fifty cents!"

"It's a little steep. . . "

"Alright, a nickel!"

"Well, it's still a little steep for what they pay me, but, okay!"

"Alright then," snickered the man, "Smash the ringing clocks with a mallet. But you have to pay me for the clocks if you hit them while they are not ringing."

"Got it chap," said Percival as he hefted the mallet in his hand. A clock rang. Percival smashed it. Another; smashed. Then two rang at the same time. Percival got one with a mallet and the other with his free hand. The game proceeded like this until the last clock was smashed. The booth master stood. "Never before have I seen such ability--you must be the king smasher! And, you have ruined me!"

"Do I still get a prize?"

Percival ran off before the booth man had a chance to load his gun.

"So, this means no prize?" said Percival as he ran. Suddenly, another freak wormhole opened directly in front of him, and he tumbled into it's depths.

"Well, as they say on broadway, on with the show," said Robins, "I need a volunteer to step into the pod."

Nobody even thought of stepping forward.

"Anybody? Anybody? Ah, Phil, thanks for volunteering, come on up!"

Phil looked around. Had he just volunteered? As he thought about it, he found himself being dragged into the pod on the right. He stood their, dumbfounded. Robins flipped a little switch and Phil disappeared. Moments later, he appeared in the pod on the left. Everyone "oohed" and "aahed" at the result of the experiment. Suddenly, Mell gave a shout, "That's what I'll review for my _Minute Review_!" With that, she jumped into the pod and pushed the button. Then the pendant that she was wearing began to shine eerily and she disappeared. Her pendant fell to the ground. The crowd ran away screaming.

"Great!" shouted Robins, "Mell always ruins everything! Well, go and save her Phil! You always save everyone! Why should this be an exception?"

Robins pushed Phil into the teleportation pod, placed the pendant around his neck, then pushed the button. The pendant began to glow; then it fell to the ground. Phil was gone; the transportation a success!


	2. The Middle Ages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 2  
> The Middle Ages  
> or  
> How now large, brown yak?

Phil opened his eyes to find himself sitting in a canyon. He sat there for a little while, letting himself get accustomed to the new environment. Presently, he stood and walked through the canyon. He began to search for a short while, looking for a way out, when he came upon a suspension bridge. As he crossed it, the bridge groaned. Whenever he made a move, the bridge would sway beyond control and he would hold onto the railing for support. At the rate he was moving, it took him an hour to cross the bridge. When he got to the other side, he could see several lights to the south; he headed off in that direction.

At about four o'clock in the afternoon, Phil staggered into town. He collapsed onto the dirt road.

Phil awoke in a soft bed. Alarmed, he sat up.

"Shh," said a soft voice, "Here, take this."

Phil greedily took the water that was offered him and gulped it down, getting every last bit of moisture in the cup.

"Thou hast better lie down, thou art weak yet. Lie thyself down and sleep."

Phil did as the voice commanded and went back to sleep.

When Phil awoke, nobody was around. He slid out of bed and dressed himself in the clothing that was on the chair beside him. Then he took a glance at his surroundings. He was in a small, well lit room. The only furnishing in the room, besides the stool, was the small cot which he had been laying on. He opened up the door on the other side of the room and glanced out. A girl, Phil guessed she was a maid, saw him. She stared for a moment, then dropped the tray that she had been carrying and ran off down the hall shouting "Mistress! Mistress!". Phil just shrugged and continued his search of the place. He walked down the hall that the girl had fled down and, presently, found himself in a large, open room.

Immediately, a woman came walking over to him. "How art thou?" she asked, Phil recognized her voice as the lady who had given him the water earlier, "Better I should suppose. Well, takest thou a seat, I will bring you something to eat." She then bustled off, to where Phil supposed the kitchen was. He went over and took a seat near the fireplace. Although there was no fire at the time, it still made him feel cozier. A few minutes later, the woman returned, carrying a tray with some soup, bread, and cheese on it. Phil began to eat. He had not realized how hungry he was until he had begun to fill his belly. When he had finished, he picked up his tray and walked off to where he hoped the kitchens were. He pushed through some doors, and to his immediate relief, found himself in the kitchen.

He sat his tray down on an empty counter and proceeded to look around the kitchen. That is, until he was chased out by the cook. He then went back into the large room that he had been in earlier. When he got there, there were several people sitting at the tables, quietly conversing. Phil walked over and sat at a small table. Several minutes later, a man came by and sat down next to Phil. "Hi!" said the stranger, "What's up? Well, I guess it seems you are, but what else?"

"Um," said Phil, "Who are you?"

"Oh, sorry, I am called Tamasa, I found thou, sir, laid out in the middle of the street, appeared as if thou had fallen unconscious, so I picked sir up and carried sir to this fine inn."

"Thanks for the help, but, where is here?"

"Thou art at the Dragon Tooth, the best inn in or around the providence of Millenial."

" _Millenial?!?_ Um, where is Millenial? I mean, what island is it on?"

"Tis on the isle of Kaki."

"Kaki? Are you sure? All right, where's the hidden camera?"

"Nay, I beseech thee sir, I know not of this. . . Kamra? Perhaps thou couldst show me to her sometime."

"Tamasa, thou art a sight for sore eyes," said a woman as she walked up; Phil recognized her as the same who had given him a meal, "And sir has awoken."

"Awoken? I wasn't aware that I had slept that long," said Phil.

"Tis sad, we thought you to be dead. Twas' three days ago ye were brought into me inn," said the woman.

"That's nice and all," said Phil, "But who are you? And what time period is this?" (Obviously, he had added this last part just to get on with the plot.)

"Thou must have had a large accident, good sir, for thou does not know of the time. Ah well, I am Luca, mistress of this fine establishment. And the year is 600 A.D."

A dull thud was heard as Phil's chair tipped and hit the ground.

When Phil awoke, he found that he was back in the same room that he had woken up in. Once out of bed, he stood and walked out of the door. A girl, Phil guessed she was a maid, saw him. She stared for a moment, then dropped the tray that she had been carrying and ran off down the hall shouting "Mistress! Mistress!". "Deja Vu!" exclaimed Phil as he walked down the hall. As Phil walked into the main room of the inn, he noticed that it was already the next day. Taking into account that he had been asleep for three days, he guessed that it was Friday. Although this guess was completely off, it was better for Phil to have some sort of an idea to hold onto. He walked over to a table and sat down.

Several minutes later, Luca walked over to Phil with a tray of food. "Thou art up and about, I see-est. Art thou planning to leave my inn before the day is out?"

"Well," said Phil, "Maybe if I can just kind of stay here for a few more days?"

"Thou can stay as thou wishes. Tamasa has offered to pay me for thine room and meals."

"Okay, cool. Um, listen, I'm looking for someone, perhaps you've seen her? She's not from around here or anything. But anyway, she is about a foot taller than I am, and she has this strange look on her face all the time."

"Nay, I have not seen her, but I will keep an eye out for one such as thou describes."

"Thanks."

Luca left then; leaving Phil to devour his breakfast. After breakfast, Phil walked outside to get a breath of fresh air. He stood there for a minute, then proceeded to walk around town. He dug into the depths of his wallet and produced a small, wrinkled picture of Mell. Armed with this picture, Phil moved onward with his search for her. Among other things, Phil found that the queen who ruled over this continent had been kidnapped. He heard several different accounts of how this was done; none of which shall be repeated in this story. He also found that this continent was also at war with Magus's troops. He heard only one account of this, but, alas, it shall not be repeated in this story.

Phil took his time in the town, searching everywhere for Mell or anybody else he might know for that matter. Not finding her, he returned to the inn. There, he sat in front of the hearth, sipping a mug of hot cocoa.

Suddenly, a man ran into the inn and shouted. "The queen has been found!" Then he ran out and down the street. Everybody just took him for a lunatic. Of course, the fact that he was butt naked didn't help either. Then somebody else came in and repeated the remark. Seeing no reason to believe the drunk, everybody cheered for the return of their queen. It was well passed midnight before the party calmed down enough for Phil to get to his room and retire for the evening.

In the morning, Phil woke to find a letter addressed to him sitting on a chair next to his bed. He picked it up and read it. It read:

Your presence is demanded, not requested, at the palace at precisely noon.

Phil got up and dressed. He then walked out into the hall. "Woa, it's a miracle, that maid's not there today!" As if answering to his statement, nobody appeared. He then walked out into the main room where he had his breakfast. It had been brought, not by Luca, but by somebody else. She had said that Luca was busy. Phil just ate his meal and left the inn. He asked for directions to the palace. He then walked there.

By the time he arrived, it was precisely noon. He was admitted, but only after he had sworn that he was not a large, brown yak there to spy for Magus. He was taken to the queen's chambers on the top floor. This was quite a long walk, mind you, which was why it was going on four o'clock in the morning by the time Phil got there. He was announced to the queen, then escorted in. The soldiers that had escorted him took guard outside the door.

"So, Phil," said the queen, "I'll bet you are wondering why I called you here."

"Ya," said Phil, "And why don't you talk in that goofy accent?"

"I was brought up somewhere else."

"Oh."

"I called you here, because I'm having some rich relatives over for dinner, and I need some sort of a show. So, we are going to behead you."

"Um, okay."

"Hahaha," said the queen as she burst out laughing, "I'm not the queen stupid! I'm Mell! Now go away, I can take care of myself."

Phil turned to leave. Just as he opened the door, Mell screamed, which brought the guards running in. Just as they entered the room, Mell disappeared. They turned on Phil. "What vile spell dost thou cast her away with? Speak, sorcerer!"

"What?!?" was all Phil could say before they towed him off to the king.

"Phil vs. Government, Case no. 4375, all rise for the honorable Judge Edgar."

"Alright," said Judge Edgar, "And please, call me Ed. Sit down everyone, you look like a bunch of dumb fools standing up like that. Now, let's hurry through this, I've got a little. . .business to take care of." He then patted a pair of golf clubs which he had behind his stand.

"Mr. Phil," said the prosecution, "If that is indeed your name, you are a stranger here, are you not?"

"Yes, I . ."

"Please, just answer the question. Phil is charged with making the queen disappear. The prosecution rests."

"What?" said Phil, "That's all?"

"Judge Ed," said the prosecutor, "This man is throwing meaningless aggression towards me, I move he should be locked up for ten to twelve years to get the anger out of him. Then shall we continue this trial."

"Granted, take him away."

Phil was bodily dragged off to his cell.

Phil was awakened by a little shove. He opened his eyes; then he jumped three and four quarter inches. Staring him right in the eye, a small figure intently watched him with an intense curiosity.

"Who the, tell everyone I said hello, are you?" said Phil.

"The question is, who. . . am I!" said the strange little jerk, "My name is, uh, well gee. I've been down here so long, I can't remember my name. Wait! It's right on the tip of my tongue! Yes, yes! That's it!"

"What?"

"I forgot."

"You don't know you're own name?" said Phil.

"Oh, I thought you wanted to know my social security number," said the man, "I guess, well, gee. Oh, ya! My name is Gnat. But everybody calls me Gnat."

"You're a sad, strange little man."

"I'm a man? I've been down here for so long I can't remember. Hold on! I'll check."

"No! No! That's okay, Gnat, you don't have to do that."

"Please call me Gnat."

"You know something," said Phil.

"Not really, I've been down here so long I've forgotten just about everything I know."

"At least you still know how to talk."

"Talk? What's talk?"

"Oh, forget it! Anyway, you remind me of someone I knew. You wouldn't have been a brawny sea man by any chance, would you have?"

"Um, I think so," said Gnat.

"That's it! You are Nat! I haven't seen you for eight stories!"

"Sorry."

"How did you get here?"

"Um, I don't know."

"Gee, I'd guess that you were swallowed by a wormhole."

"Well, I've been down here for, well, uh, seven stories."

"Eight," corrected Phil.

"Whatever, let's, like, try to escape or something."

"Okay. How you do that?"

Gnat whispered a plan to Phil, but Phil had a better one.

Phil walked over and rattled his own cage. Keep in mind that it was his own, and not Robins's. Suddenly, Phil began thinking of Mell and Robins and the wonderful times he has had around them.

"Hey, what times?" asked Phil of The Boss.

"Oh, forget it," said The Boss.

Phil walked over and rattled his own cage. Keep in mind that it was his own, and not Robins's (no matter how much Obi Ben says it is). One of the guards walked over to the cage and yelled at Phil. "Hey, shut up in there!" Phil rattled his cage. Keep in mind that this was his cage, and not Obi Ben's (no matter how much Robins says it is). The other guard walked over to the cage and yelled something that can't be repeated in such a wholesome story as this. Yet again, Phil rattled his cage. He must have been extra dense today. Keep in mind that this was Phil's cage, and that he was, at this time, sharing it with Gnat who was making moves on Phil's personal space. Phil turned around and slugged Gnat, then rattled his (Phil's) cage. Keep in mind that this was. . . . oh, forget it.

"Hey, shut up!" yelled the first guard.

"I'm gonna kill him!" said the second, "Open the cage."

Just as the guard came into the room, Phil got the drop on him. You see, he dropped Gnat on top of the guard. Phil figured if that didn't kill the guard, then at least the smell would. Phil waited next to the cell's door. When the second guard came in to get a piece of the action, Phil purposely tripped him.

"Hey," he shouted, "You did that on purpose."

"Duh," said Phil.

Then he jogged down the crowded-challenged hall, leaving the guard to cry to himself.

"Hm," said Phil, "I must have taken a wrong turn back there somewhere on that straight hallway I went through, I don't seem to be getting anywhere."

Suddenly, a large, cloaked figure jumped in front of him. The person had a large mace in one hand and a hand in his other hand. Without hesitation, he walked over to Phil and slapped him with the hand that was in his hand. Disgraced at this thoughtless deed, Phil let at the night with all the thumb power he could muster. He savagely attacked the armed and handed man. The beast had never seen such thumb-play before, and so ran off. Phil did a little victory dance, and decided to name it the electric slide. Little did he know that, in the future, it would change the way people looked at country music. He then continued off down the hall, sneaking up behind the guards and scaring the dickens out of them with his thumbs. After a short while, Phil found himself at the check-in/out service desk.

"Um," said Phil, "I'd like to check out please."

"Name?"

"Fritz, Onthe."

"Okay, Onthe Fritz, can I see your permission slip.

"Sure, here," said Phil as he punched the man right in the face.

"That wasn't very nice," said the man. Then he slipped into unconsciousness.

Suddenly, Robins came running down the stairs. "Hey, Phil! I finally found you! C'mon we've got to go find Mell!"

"Uh, to late," said Phil

"What do you mean?" asked Robins.

"Well, I sort of found her already," said Phil, "But she, uh, disappeared."

"Her case is more severe than I thought," said Robins, "Where'd you find her?"

"Right here in the palace. They had mistaken her for the missing queen."

"Oh no! We must hurry and save the queen! If she dies, then Mell will cease to exist!"

"What?"

"You see, the King here is Zeus's dog's first cousin's great uncle."

"Oh, so these are Mell's relatives."

"Yes, and if they die, Mell will no longer exist."

"Let's hurry!"

The two ran up the stairs that led to the castle. Suddenly, as they were crossing a bridge, a large dragon-like machine was pushed in front of them. Without stopping, Robins threw a small grenade at it, blowing it to pieces. They ran right past the burning mass of metal; and kept running until they were safely outside of the castle.

From there, they ran to a small cathedral that they saw, and ran inside. There they stopped to rest. They slouched down onto two different benches. Several nuns ran over to them.

"Art thou alright?"

"Ya," said Phil, "Thanks."

"Good," said another nun, "I always like to have healthy guests."

"Why, whatever do you mean?" said Robins.

"Roar!" said one of the nuns.

"That's not very polite," pointed out Robins.

The nuns changed into large, brown carnivorous yaks and assaulted Phil and Robins. Just as all hope was lost, it was found again. A small, green frog walked in the door. "Who here hath lost all hope?" it said, "I have found it and brought it back to thee." Seeing the predicament that the two were in, the small, green frog jumped in and started hacking away at the yaks with a large sword.

After the last one was dead, Phil got a better look at the curious fellow. Obviously, he was a frog, but that wasn't what was curious about him. He had leather breeches, a dark shirt, and a cape. A sword hung from a belt at his waist, and his feet were stuffed into brown boots.

"Thanks," said Phil.

"Thank me later," said the frog, "Unless, of course, thou whilst help me rescue the queen."

"That's the same thing that we are trying to do," said Robins, "I'm going to help you. Are you coming Phil?"

"Uh, sure," said Phil.

"Alright then," said the frog, "Call me Frog. I hath found a secret passage that doth lead into a keep. That passage is in here, somewhere."

"No problem," said Phil. Unfortunately, it was.

The three searched the room from ceiling to floor. Upon finding nothing, they decided to quit for the day. Wiping sweat from his forehead, Phil leaned on the organ. His arm resting on the c, c#, and d keys. Part of the wall slid open, revealing a secret entrance. The three walked into its depths.

They walked through a long hall which connected to a large room. Walking through, unchallenged, they soon found themselves on the other side. They walked through the halls and rooms, still unchallenged, and presently, found themselves in a room from which there was one exit; the one that they had come in from. Once in the room, the three spread out a little, to gain back their personal space. Suddenly, the door slammed shut behind them, and a voice echoed throughout the perimeter of the room. "You have come to rescue the queen, but I cannot allow that."

"Show thine self, coward!" yelled Frog.

"Um, don't mind him," said Phil, "You don't have to come out if you don't want to. And I, for one, don't find you a coward."

"Gladly! I will come!" boomed the voice.

The figure of Brother Mushroom #1 appeared.

"Gasp!" said Phil, "You're Brother Mushroom #1!"

"How did you know me?" said the mushroom.

"Percival has told me stories about you! But you are dead!"

"Phil," said Robins, "Try to remember, we're in the past."

"Oh, right," said Phil.

"I know not of this Percival and this past that you speak of, but soon you will be old news," said #1 (who, consequently, did happen to look like #2).

While Frog circled back behind the mushroom, Robins kept the mushroom busy.

"So," said Robins, "How's life been going?"

"Good," said the mushroom, "But it would be better if you would leave me alone."

"But everybody likes it when I bug them," said Robins.

"Obviously, I don't," said the mushroom.

"I do," said Phil.

"Well, well, well," said Robins.

"Listen," said Brother Mushroom #1, "When I want your opinion, I'll rattle your cage."

"That's how we got that saying," said Phil.

"Huh?" said Brother Mushroom #1.

Then Frog struck. He jumped on the mushroom, then got him into a choke hold and held him at sword-point. Robins rushed over and touched the mushroom with a small control dish. He disappeared.

"Where doth mine enemy go?" asked Frog.

"Ya," said Phil.

"I sent him into the Nega-World," said Robins, "With my time disk. It sends anybody I touch to the time and place that it is to."

"Oh," said Phil.

"I hath found the queen!" shouted Frog from across the room, obviously he had lost interest in Robins's invention.

Phil and Robins ran over to the two conversing figures.

"That's the queen?" asked Phil.

"She looks exactly like Mell," said Robins.

"Oh, Frog, whom are your friends?" asked the queen.

"This is Sir Phil and the Lady Robins," said Frog.

"Just Phil will be fine," said Phil.

"I kind of like Lady Robins," said Robins.

"Let us go back to the palace with news of the queen's return!" said Frog.

Several hours later, Robins and Phil were readying to leave the castle (due to a pardon that the queen had given them) when Frog burst out of the throne room and ran past them. Phil and Robins ran into the throne room to see what the problem was. Apparently, Frog felt that he had disgraced the queen because he had failed to keep her safe in the first place. The queen disagreed, but Frog felt that he should leave, so he did.

Then Robins remembered that they were missing someone. "Quick Phil, let's go back to where you found Mell! Maybe she's back now that we've saved the real queen!"

Phil ran up the stairs to where he had met with Mell. As soon as he walked in the door, Mell reappeared in the same place that she had disappeared from.

"Robins! How did you get here? Oh well, nevermind, now you can save me instead of Phil. I wouldn't let that sap near me for. . . well, forever. Anyway, let's go. Uh, how do we get back anyway?"

"We can use the neat little time device that I made!" said Robins, "Hurry, we have to use it in the same area that we arrived in."

Robins, Phil, and Mell then left the castle and went back to the time gate that had taken them there in the first place. Unfortunately, Robins's machine just happened to malfunction under the stress of teleporting three people. 


	3. The Dismal Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 3
> 
> The Dismal Future
> 
> or
> 
> How about this for a dismal time?

Phil, Mell, and Robins landed on the ground with a dull thud. Carefully, they stood to get a better look at their surroundings. As his eyes became accustomed to the darkness of the room, Phil noticed that he was surrounded by people who were staring at him and the two girls. The people were speaking softly to each other.

"Look at how they dress, their clothes."

"Who are they?"

"How did they get there?"

"Mommy, mommy, is that a pervert?"

Phil began to answer the questions individually. "We dress strangely? What about you? All you are wearing are some strange looking robes! Who am I? Have you never heard of me? I am Phil, this is Mell, and that is Robins. Why, I'm surprised that you haven't heard of us."

"They were the ones spoken of in the dictionary. The ones that were lost during some freak accident of some sort involving a teleportation unit."

"Actually," said Robins, "It's a super-hyper drive dyslexic perverted lightweight thermo-nuclear ballistic environmentally friendly teleportation unit. But who cares?"

"Anyway," said Phil, "Somehow, Ms. Logic here teleported us through time to here. So, by any chance could any of you tell us when we are? And maybe what planet we're on? Oh, yes, and strictly speaking for myself, no I'm not a pervert."

"But he has a perverted mind," said Robins.

These newcomers were becoming quite the comedy act to these people who were sadly lacking in hope. A few could barely stifle their laughter. "The time is 2350 A.D. The place, however, has changed so much I hardly know it anymore. But the planet out that door, if it still exists, is earth." Somebody played a few keys on the organ to add dramatic emphasis. The speaker continued, "Before the Day of Idknow we were a peace loving nation. Suing anybody and everybody over such small things as. . . um. . . well,"

"We would sue the pants off of somebody," said another person.

"Listen," said the original speaker, "When I want your opinion, I'll shake your cage!" The trio giggled at this, then the man continued on, "Then, the law suit of all law suits was brought forth. The O.J. Trials!"

Another chord was played on the old organ.

"The verdict day. I remember it well," continued the same old boring man, "It was not guilty. Many people cheered; and many people cussed. Still they did nothing. That is, until Idknow, the dreaded beast of the Underworld, heard the verdict. He flew into the air and spread worldwide fires, causing geological and ecological panic. The world is now as you see it. It will not change. Robots have now taken over; they will not let us out. And our food supplies are sadly lacking. The human race are almost perished . ." At this everybody sighed.

"Wow," said Phil, "What an effect!"

"Phil," said Mell, "We can't let this happen. We have no choice but to destroy Idknow before this happens."

"Yea," said Phil, "Right!"

"Sir," said Robins, "You said you are low on food. Can't you get any more?"

"No, the robots have taken over all the local grocery shops. Our only other supplies are in the basement. But nobody has ever been able to get out alive."

Phil really wished the organ player would quit that.

In the morning, Phil woke up and ate some of the few rations which he had packed away before the fair and at the inn back in 600 A.D. Then he sat around for Mell (who, ironically, was sleeping like a dog) and Robins (who, ironically, was sleeping like something Phil had never heard of). Several hours later, Robins and Mell woke up and the three ventured down into the basement.

"Gee," said Mell, "It's awfully dark and spooky down here."

"Just a minute," said Robins as she unpacked a flashlight and turned it on.

"Thanks," said Mell.

They continued down the eerie corridors. To alleviate their stress, Phil began to tell some funny experiences he had had recently. "I was so worried about something that was stuck in my teeth, that I didn't notice where my thumbs were going."

"Phil," said Mell, "You've got a lot of explaining to do later."

"Hey, guys, be quiet," said Robins, "There's a sign attached to this statue. It reads: Any who dare come within the vicinity of the food storage shall be shot, drugged, stabbed, poisoned, hung, strangled, beaten, gored, and shall have any other acts of violence inflicted towards their person that are stored in our memory banks. It's signed, the robots."

"Spooky," said Phil.

"If they think that I'm going to be scared of them, well, they've got another thing coming to them!" said Mell, obviously she was furious, yet cool and collected.

"Yea!" said Phil, "Go ahead, you first."

Mell led the group down a few more corridors and then into a large, open room. For a minute, they stopped and stared at the largeness of it. Then, without hesitation or reason, Phil crossed the room and entered a large refrigerated room. Here, he saw a slumped body laying up against the wall. Quickly rushing over, Phil checked the body.

"He's dead Jim," said Phil.

"What?" asked Mell and Robins simultaneously, yet not at the same time.

"Sorry," said Phil simultaneously with himself, yet not at the same time, "I don't know what came over me, but I have a pretty good idea. Anyway, he's dead, and by the look of it, he's been that way for quite a

while."

"The food. . . " said Robins.

"It's all . . . . . spoiled," finished Phil.

"What's this?" asked Mell as she stooped down to loosen the man's hand. Clutched inside, she found a seed and a note. "I know I am dying," read Mell, "I only hope that someone may find my body and along with it, this seed. It shall be our revival and the beginning of the struggle against the robots."

"How sad," said Mell.

"Let's not keep those people waiting," said Phil, "We must hurry back and give them the seed."

Phil turned and walked out of the room. He was followed by his two companions. As soon as the three were standing in the center of the room, all of the exits were sealed off. A loud beeping sound could be felt rather than heard emanating through the walls. Suddenly, a large mechanical machine jumped down from the ceiling, scattering every one into the same position. He jumped at Phil and threw him away from the others. He landed in the garbage, symbolizing one of life's little annoyances.

The creature then sprang at Mell and Robins. Suddenly, yet slowly, a voice boomed down from the heavens. "PICKING ON PHIL IS OKAY. NOBODY CARES ABOUT HIM, BUT PICKING ON GIRLS IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE."

He then pointed his finger at the machine and said, "Die!". Unfortunately, nothing happened. So he reached over and pulled out the extension cord. He then disappeared as suddenly as he had come.

"Wow," said Robins.

"What a hunk!" said Mell.

"Was that who I think it was?" asked Robins.

"Yes," said Mell, "That was Jared, god of bowling, scout camp, and Samurai Showdown."

"What a hunk!" said Robins.

"Hey," said Phil, "What's he got that I ain't got?"

"Everything," said Mell; just as Robins said, "A brain."

"Oh," said Phil.

The trio continued there walk back to the surface. Several hours later, they surfaced. Immediately, everybody ran over to them. "No one has ever survived that place of evil." said someone.

"Well, that's because we stand for justice, proficiency, and the right," said Phil.

"What?" asked another person.

"Don't ask," said Mell.

"And the food?" asked the man.

"It's spoiled, all of it," said Robins.

"Is there no hope for us?" said a man.

"Yes," said Robins, "There is. Together, you can plant this seed with hope! And, standing together, you may bring the fall of all robots!"

A cheer went up from the crowd. Some of them began to chant. "Together we stand! Together we stand!"

"You know," said Phil, "You really can be inspirational if you want to be."

"Thanks," said Robins.

Phil began to beat his head against a nearby wall. "Why me? I didn't mean to compliment her, it just came out that way."

"I think we had better leave now," said Mell, "While they don't notice us. Let them remember us for what we did, and not for the way we will probably end up acting if we stay."

"Good idea," said Robins.

"Hey," said Phil, "Are you suggesting something."

They all slowly backed out of the small, cramped room. "Where to now?" asked Mell.

"Well," said Phil, "While you two were making your inspirational talk, I managed to download some information from the main computer. I found the time gate."

"That's wonderful!" said Robins.

"I discovered it to be. . . um, er, shoot, I forgot!" said Phil. He began to beat his head against the wall, "Where, where, where, where, wh. . . wait a minute! That's right! I wrote it down on a piece of paper! It's in my pants!"

Phil retrieved the piece of paper from his pocket. "It's in the Millenial Dome, on the south side of the island."

"There it is!" said Mell, "I can see it from here! Let's go!"

Several hours later, they staggered up to the dome. "It's a lot farther than it looks," gasped Robins.

"Ditto," gasped Phil.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad," said Mell, "C'mon, I could run for a couple more miles."

"Good for you," said Phil.

"It is?" asked Robins.

They sat around for a while to catch their breath. Then they stood and walked into the dome.

"It's creepy in here," said Robins.

"Ya," said Phil.

"Ditto," said Mell.

"C'mon," said Phil, "The computer said it was in the back."

The trio walked to the back of the large room. "I guess it's behind here," said Phil as he walked up to a large door.

"These control panels must control it," said Robins.

"No good," said Phil, "The power must be out."

Suddenly, a scream emanated throughout the building. "Mell!" shouted Robins and Phil simultaneously (they must have been practicing).

They ran down a short hall which branched off from the main room. They saw Mell standing up against the wall, there was a large metallic figure sitting in the middle of the room. It was rusted over.

"What's wrong?" asked Phil.

"It's so, dirty in here," said Mell.

"It's a robot," said Robins, "Looks old though, maybe if I were to . . . "

"I'm going to go back to the main room," said Phil.

"I'll go too," said Mell.

Hours later, Phil opened his eyes. "Gee, I must have fallen asleep," announced Phil.

"Hi!" said a voice.

Phil squinted at the figure. When he saw it was a robot, he jumped up. "Get away from me, dog face!"

"No," said the robot, "My name is Rob, my model is HI-RBN-THS-S-A-INSLT. However, I'm just a prototype."

"Oh, hi, my name is Phil."

"Hi, Master Phil."

"Phil is fine."

"Okay."

"Hey Phil," said Robins, "I see you've met Rob!"

"Yea," said Phil, "How did you fix this bucket of bolts?"

"Hey," said Rob, "I may be inanimate, but I have feelings to."

"Oh, sorry."

"I'll prove that I'm not a bucket of bolts! What do you want me to do, Phil."

"Um, can you restore power to this dome?"

"This is a big task," said Rob, "We must go to the laboratory. There I can transfer power from several other sources. Unfortunately, someone must stay behind to open the door as soon as the power is on."

"Hey, Mell, do you want to stay here?" asked Phil.

"Sure," said Mell, who was at the moment entertaining herself by trying to do a tricky little thing with her thumbs.

"Alright," said Robins, "Let's go!"

Phil, Robins, and Robo began there walk over to the laboratory. Several hours later, they stood in front of the immense compound.

"This is it," said Rob.

"Shall we go inside?" asked Phil.

"Okay," said Rob.

The group walked in through the massive doors. Once inside, mankind's position became clear to them. The entire area was securely secured. Robots and lasers were everywhere.

"We'll have to get through by going around them," said Robins.

"Look," said Phil, "It's a computer. Using it, I'm sure I could turn off all the security systems."

"You've got to hand it to him," said Rob, "He's not good at a lot of things, but what he is good at, he does well."

"You programmed him with a sense of humor?" asked Phil.

"Yup," said Robins.

"Anyway, I think I can turn off all the security alarms through this computer," said Phil, "But I need an access key."

"I know something that you don't know," said Rob.

"Rob," said Robins, "Do you know the access key to shut off this computer."

"I know something that you don't know," Rob repeated.

"This sense of humor is really becoming a pain in the butt," said Phil, "Kinda reminds me of Percy."

"No time to reprogram him now," said Robins.

"I know something that you don't know," said Rob.

"Shut up," said Phil and Robins said not quite at the same time, yet simultaneously.

"Fine," said Rob, "Now I won't tell you."

"Great," said Phil, "I'm standing here in a highly dangerous facility with a girl that claims her head blows up and a robot that is performing acts of mutiny!"

"Now Rob," said Robins, "Won't you please tell us the entry code."

"Yes, it is 3-DEDH-YKNM," said Rob, "But I'm not going to tell you something that you don't know."

Phil quietly walked over to the alcove and began to enter the code. Rob and Robins pressed right up next to him, trying to get a glimpses of the screen. A warning sign began to flash on the screen. It read: "WARNING". Phil pushed a few buttons and another message appeared on the screen. It read: "w

warn-ing (wor'ning), n. something that warns; notice given in advance. --adj. that warns." Phil hit the screen and the phrase "Use the key stupid!" appeared on the monitor.

"Um, Rob, do you have a key?" asked Phil.

"Sure," said Rob, "Here, I'll put it in for you."

"Thanks," said Phil.

"Your welcome Phil," said Rob.

Rob then inserted the key into the keyhole. Suddenly, blaster fire flew at the group. A blast hit Rob, knocking him against the far wall. Sprinkler systems appeared all over him, putting out any fires that may have occurred due to the shot. Phil looked around, "Hey, what gives?"

More blaster shots flew at them, followed by a long pause. Suddenly, screams could be heard as Ewoks sprang upon the Storm Troopers. Phil shrugged, turned the key, then grabbed Rob and Robins by their hands and ran off down the hall. The moment the sounds of war faded away into nothing, Phil let go of Robins's and Rob's hands and frantically scraped his hands on his pants. After a short argument, the trio walked off down the hall. The way was simple, all of the alarm systems and cameras were down, and all of the robot inhabitants were busy fighting off the Ewoks.

Fairly soon, they came to a large room with an even larger computer standing up in the corner. Rob pushed a few buttons to bring up a menu.

"This menu system was developed by a boy by the name of paguas in 1995. He programmed it onto his calculator and it caught on from there," said Rob.

Phil just looked surprised.

Robins cleared up the little misunderstanding. "No Phil, that is not you. We are from the year 1000 A.D., remember?"

"Uh, sure."

"All done," said Phil.

"Good," said Robins, "Let's get back to the time gate."

"Good idea," said Rob.

They began walking down the hall when a large group of robots appeared in their way. Rob ran toward them. "My friends! How good it is to see you!" He walked over and offered his hand so that they could shake it. Instead, the first robot slugged him in the face. "Hey!" shouted Rob, "What gives?"

"You are defective and must therefore be destroyed," said one robot.

"Defective?" asked Rob, "Now listen here!"

"No, you listen here, have you forgotten our purpose?" asked another robot.

"Purpose?" asked Rob.

"You have befriended the race which we have been designed to eradicate," said the same robot.

"My job was to. . . . _destroy mankind_?" asked Rob.

"Yet you have befriended these humans," said yet another robot, "You are now defective. It is our duty to take you back to the mother computer to be reprogrammed."

"No, I won't go!" shouted Rob.

"Come on you cry baby," said a robot.

With that, the robots tackled Rob and dumped him down a garbage chute.

"Rob!" shouted Robins as she launched herself against the robot clan.

Phil then sprang into action, dodging amongst the robots with a speed that didn't even compare in quickness to Mell's, he managed to make them punch each other. After the last one had punched himself out, Phil and Robins pulled Rob out of the garbage chute and dragged him back to the time gate.

Several hours later, with Rob repaired, Phil, Robins, Rob, and Mell were contemplating on whether or not they should leave the future through the time gate. Suddenly, the door burst open and storm troopers began firing at them. Not knowing where it would take them, they jumped into the time gate's depths.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

The Past

or

Forward into the past.

CHAPTER 4 1/2

Back to the Middle Ages

or

 _Deja Vu_ is one thing, but repeating an entire chapter?


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The Dark Ages

or

What's a yak flying around for anyway?

CHAPTER 5 1/4

To the Future. . . With Love

or

Does "Back to the Future" sound original to you?


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

The Fire in the Sky

or

Adventurous, aren't we?


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Back to the Present

or

Will our heroes make it back in time to see the parade and have refreshments?


	8. The Screwy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Screwy
> 
> or
> 
> What if Percival's brother, Logan, wrote a story?
> 
> Continuing the Odyssey

The sun was just beginning to rise as Gecko was feeding pig fat to Tom. Robins was waxing her forehead and Phil was picking Mell's nose while she was asleep in the closet. Ben was watching them while he was doing the Waltz with handcuffs on. All of a sudden, there was a gun shot and Matrim fell out of the crow's nest (Robins was out voted on the matter of the chicken's nest). In his pocket was a wad of bills and a picture of himself. Obi Ben shoved the bills down his pants and ran away with Old Yeller into the closet.

Mell woke up. "What are you doing you perv?" she said as she slapped him, "I never want to see you again."

Phil rubbed his cheek. "Wow!" he said, "You never wanted to see me in the first place."

"Oh yeah," said Mell as she stomped away. "What a feisty woman," said Phil. A voice from the heavens boomed down, "Woof! Woof! You have no idea! Bark!"

Percival was in his cabin stapling pages in the Reader's Digest together and pondering the meaning of Mell.

Logan was sitting around acting cool with his best friend Nelson.

Clint was just sitting around hocking loogies off of the crow's nest on anybody who chanced to walk by. Logan didn't like this much, so he hurled Clint overboard. As Clint hit the water he began to develop gills. Odysseus lost his lunch over the side, hitting Clint on the forehead.

Mell knocked Phil over with a series of somersaults. "Shoot! I dodged to late!" exclaimed Phil.

"What," said Mell, "You want to go on a date? Well, okay."

Phil, not wanting to insult her (and not wanting to give up his chance anyway), organized a date for that night.

Nelson, having overheard, hurried to tell the rest of the crew and spread the gossip around the ship. Before he could take a second step, Mell tackled him. _"Gee, I wish she would do that to me!"_ thought Phil. Mell overheard his thought and stored it in memory to ponder over it's meaning later.

That night, at Mell's doghouse, while Mell was getting herself ready (and taking forever, I might add) Phil was getting to know Mell's dog. . . er, dad. _"It's a good thing I'm fluent in dog,"_ thought Phil.

"Arf arf Yip yip yip," barked Mell's father. (What is your interest in my daughter young man?)

While Phil was struggling for an answer, he was saved by Mell who was descending the stairs and trying to get her shoe on (it was two sizes too small).

"Arf Bark bark Yip yip yip!" said Mell's dad. (Be back by seven!)

 _"What?"_ thought Phil, _"Gee, I must be getting rusty on my basic dog, I thought he said 'Go to the Sinclair Gas Station, it's kind of funky, you can get a Lime Rickey there! And bring me back a super unleaded!"_ As stubborn as Phil was he decided against asking Mell what her father had said.

Phil rode Mell to the gas station. By the time they got their, Mell was running on empty. It cost Phil $104.00 to fill her up with diesel fuel. Where did the pump go? Only Phil knows. Just then Percival and Obi Ben rode by on Robins and egged Mell.

"I just had my hubcaps painted!" shouted Mell.

Phil gulped down an egg that was slowly sliding down the middle of his forehead. Phil would have ridden after them on Mell, but an egg was stuck up her exhaust pipe.

Some fat guy with a beer belly and matching goatee walked out of the gas station with more gas than Saudi Arabia (some natural, some not so natural).

"You guys over 21?"

"Yes, I am 21," lied Mell.

"Nope, not me," said Phil, for he didn't have the heart to lie. For the rest of the night, Phil stayed outside listening to Mell chug-a-lug Lime Rickey(s). Several hours later, Mell came out. Because it's illegal to drive drunk, Phil took over the wheel. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk. On the way back to Mell's house, Phil lost control of her, and they crashed into Percival's pet goat. The goat walked off unharmed, but Mell just happened to be totalled. So Phil had her towed to Christensen's Body Shop where they redid her entire chrome and gave her a shiny nameplate. They also cleared the now hard boiled egg out of her exhaust pipe. Ben rode by on his motorcycle and did a tricky little thing with his thumbs. Robins was sitting behind him, handcuffed. They were probably off to the closet. Percival was running after them waving a Reader's Digest and shouting, "Look guys! 385 staples!"

Mr. Christensen walked out of the body shop and said, "For an extra hundred bucks, I can install an environmentally safe filter system and air conditioning."

Two weeks later, Phil took Mell home. Her father was waiting at the door for them.

"Bark bark Yip yip yip," he said. (Why weren't you home by seven?)

"Woof woof Yip yip yip Bark!" said Phil. (Why yes, here is your super unleaded!)

Phil was three blocks away before Mell's dad had his gun loaded. So Mell tackled him.

"Wow!" said Phil, "Her father wasn't kidding!"


	9. Top 15 Story Prospect Titles

#15 - The Educational

or

What college did these guys go to and how did they apply for such great jobs?

#14 - The Timely

or

What does the crew do in their free time?

#13 - The Televisioniad

or

Would Robins get any recognition if she invented the TV?

#12 - The Bensiad

or

What is a day in the life of an average god like?

#11 - The Airiad

or

How much hot air does it take to make a story rise into the air?

#10 - The Trashiad

or

What if the crew decided to start a newspaper full of gossip?

#9 - The Trinity

or

Obi Ben Walker is a god; so why not Percival and Phil?

#8 - The Insultiad

or

How do two perfectly normal friends still stay friends while insulting each other in totally stupid stories?

#7 - The Doorsiad

or

Why would anyone walk into a door in the middle of an honors'

math class when they sit three rows from the right and five seats back?

#6 - The Pantsy

or

I wear them, how 'bout you?

#5 - The Melloniad

or

Isn't that the name of a lunch meat?

#4 - The Thumbsiad

or

How do they do that nifty little thing with their thumbs?

#3 - The Newspaperiad

or

Is it possible to stab someone with a rolled up newspaper?

#2 - The Philly

or

Who is that Phil guy and does he own the cream cheese company?

#1 - The Robinsey

or

What happens when you push a character over the edge?


End file.
